I have a love affair with land. I'm not really picky as to the type of land. West Texas sunsets on our ranch make me grateful; evening Hill Country runs fill me up; PGA tournaments inspire my dreams; and the English countryside fills my eyes with tears and my heart with romance. I have often told my mom my ideal lifestyle would be out on a ranch growing a farm and a family........tbd. And honestly, I often worry that this dream, along with many others, will not come to fruition. That I'll be disappointed in the lifestyle I'll lead and "where I end up." I, like any other human heart, beg to see these hopes burst to life. It is a distrust I've had with the Creator of the Universe.
Recently, however, I encountered an "Aha!" moment during my daily devotional. The setup was quite unique as I was traveling for work and breakfasting in the hotel lobby waiting for other coworkers to arrive. To lock myself away in thought from the noise of other tables I religiously turned on my PGA Live Streaming app. (I say religiously because it was indeed Final Round Sunday). One dream sat before me on my iPad and the health of my heart laid on the table in front of me. I picked up Beth Moore's Whispers of Hope. As I read I felt the Lord unveil a part of me I'd never acknowledged.
“Aspects of this earth really appeal to me. Rugged mountains and rapid rivers...I want Christ so intensely I can hardly bear it, but I realize at times that I want Him here-near the things I love. Then the greater reality hits: He wants you and me there-near the things He loves. ”
The next part is when I awoke:
“Our problem with heaven is fear of trading in the familiar for the ethereal. We picture our future home like a vaporous ghost town where we’ll have see-through bodies and sing for eons. Let’s allow God to readjust our thinking. Heaven is authentic real estate...In heaven we will exchange longing for belonging.”
That's when it hit me - all of the God-given dreams I wish for on this earth will be fulfilled - in heaven. This realization partnered with conviction that there is a part of my heart that dreads heaven. How unchristian of me to say, right? Actually, no. I think this is common among all of us. Heaven is something we aren't capable of comprehending - we're not ready for it yet. Which is why Christ when to make our home ready.
Along with my conviction that I hold my dreams more dear than being united with my Savior forever, two prayers were answered. The first an answer to the Scripture, "Search me, O God, and know my heart...and see if there is any wicked way in me and lead me in the way everlasting." (Psalm 139:23-24). He revealed to me a sin that I didn't even know I had. The beautiful thing is though, He also answered my dreams all in the same moment. If I never have that ranch or if I never even have a family, in heaven, I will. And in this I can rest: Heaven is the fulfillment of my heart's desires here on earth.
